Today is Jan 16, 2018. ‘Dida’ (my maternal grandmother) breathed her last today. Old, weak, and bedridden for many years, she was the epitome of humility, love, selflessness, and sacrifice that I have seen in my life. In one word, she was an Angel.
She was so weak and fragile, and in such bad health, that everybody in the family had wanted her to pass away. But that Death would come so suddenly to her was not expected.
Afternoon, and I had called my mom on her mobile phone to just have a word with her about her whereabouts. It was then that she told me that Grandma was severely ill and she would have to run to Bankura where Grandma was admitted in a hospital because of a severe ailment.
I already knew she had not had motions for more than the last 2 weeks, but I thought that she would get better if we gave her fibrous foods. After all, these things are common of old people, and all we can do is try to be careful with them about their health. Mom and my aunts tried everything they possibly could for Dida to feel more comfortable, but then there was no result for many days. Last week she was shifted to my Mejo Masi’s house in Bankura. Her condition persisted for one week, and today morning suddenly saw her getting an intense loose motion following which her heart beat went haywire. She was admitted to the hospital where she expired within a matter of a few hours.
I am in my office, working for my employer. When I got the news, I was having a cup of tea with a colleague.
I became emotional, then I became very nostalgic. I started recalling how she selflessly gave away her everything to her children and grandchildren, and how blissful her face used to be when she saw someone else to be happy.
The three basic needs of a human being are food, clothes, and shelter. She had all – just enough to help her live. However, the most wonderful thing was, she never asked for more. She was content with just enough food, just enough clothes that were required, and a shelter. The interesting part was, she tried to give away to other people the most part of whatever little she had. Even more interesting and beautiful is the fact that giving away gave her a lot of happiness. I simply cannot fathom how a person could have been so selfless, and I consider myself very very lucky to have had such a person in my life with me, and to be carrying the genes of such a person inside myself.
That was a synopsis about Dida and what I felt initially after listening to the news of her demise.
However, the thought process of a human being is very complex and thoughts just derive one out of the other. Thoughts are like a chain of processes that seem to fall in place and do not need much forceful intervention and external stimulation of the grey cells.
And just like that, a grave thought arose in my mind!
I remember that I had lost my ‘Dadubhai’ (paternal grandfather) in 2016. I could not be there at the time of his demise. I had wanted to see him at least once before he passed away. I had not written any blog about him, but he was also another person whom I am proud to have had in my life. I had rushed to my native house from Bangalore with the hope of seeing him for one last time, but by the time I had reached home, it was all over – he was cremated and all I saw was his ashes. I had requested every single person in my family that the funeral be postponed to the next day because I wanted to see Dadubhai. My requests all went in vain because it was necessary to cremate him at the earliest.
This time however, I had learnt from my previous experience, and I decided not to rush home from Bangalore. I wouldn’t be able to see Dida’s face for one last time. It would just be a futile thing to do.
However, I just realized that my parents also stay away from me. God forbid, but will it very illogical to think that I might lose my parents just like this without being able to be beside them when they need me the most? Does a job hold so much importance that I should value it over my family? Today I regret for not having listened to Suvro Sir when he told me to start teaching in Durgapur. I might have made a little less money, but then I could have stayed with my parents and could have been beside them for their entire lives. I have myself grown up in Durgapur, and I am no less a human being and no less educated than those people who are staying in the big metropolitan cities.
I recall a poem that I had read about Aurangzeb when I was in school. I remember that when he saw the lifeless body of Shah Jahan after the emperor passed away, Aurangzeb had had a realization that with all the power and money in the world, all that a person gets in the end is a burial; no clothes, no money, absolutely nothing. All that is left is the soul and body!
I also feel the same way now. Who am I working for, and what am I working for? And what great work am I doing that will do any good to this world? Is this the life that I had longed for? I stay far away from my parents, and will not be able to do anything in case an emergency arises. It might be too late before I might see one day that everything that I was working for got lost in an instant. The realization that I might not be able to stay beside my parents who have given their everything to help me be happy gives me a shudder and sends a chill down my spine.
I also wonder what might happen to my parents and my family just in case I am suddenly not there some day. Bangalore is a big city; it is a happening place, and both good and bad things happen to people who are completely unrelated to things. I know quite a few incidents where people have lost their loved ones because someone was present in the wrong place at the wrong time. I do not know how other people have managed to make up for their losses, but my entire family is dependent upon me. That ideally means I need to remain safe, which is again something that I cannot guarantee! Wrong place, wrong time, and anything can happen to me!
I know that my parents had wanted to send me away so that I could lead a good life and grow in life. It was never because they had wanted to live a good life using me as a mere instrument, just like many people’s parents do. They deserve better than what they are getting now!
They truly deserve better!
She was so weak and fragile, and in such bad health, that everybody in the family had wanted her to pass away. But that Death would come so suddenly to her was not expected.
Afternoon, and I had called my mom on her mobile phone to just have a word with her about her whereabouts. It was then that she told me that Grandma was severely ill and she would have to run to Bankura where Grandma was admitted in a hospital because of a severe ailment.
I already knew she had not had motions for more than the last 2 weeks, but I thought that she would get better if we gave her fibrous foods. After all, these things are common of old people, and all we can do is try to be careful with them about their health. Mom and my aunts tried everything they possibly could for Dida to feel more comfortable, but then there was no result for many days. Last week she was shifted to my Mejo Masi’s house in Bankura. Her condition persisted for one week, and today morning suddenly saw her getting an intense loose motion following which her heart beat went haywire. She was admitted to the hospital where she expired within a matter of a few hours.
I am in my office, working for my employer. When I got the news, I was having a cup of tea with a colleague.
I became emotional, then I became very nostalgic. I started recalling how she selflessly gave away her everything to her children and grandchildren, and how blissful her face used to be when she saw someone else to be happy.
The three basic needs of a human being are food, clothes, and shelter. She had all – just enough to help her live. However, the most wonderful thing was, she never asked for more. She was content with just enough food, just enough clothes that were required, and a shelter. The interesting part was, she tried to give away to other people the most part of whatever little she had. Even more interesting and beautiful is the fact that giving away gave her a lot of happiness. I simply cannot fathom how a person could have been so selfless, and I consider myself very very lucky to have had such a person in my life with me, and to be carrying the genes of such a person inside myself.
That was a synopsis about Dida and what I felt initially after listening to the news of her demise.
However, the thought process of a human being is very complex and thoughts just derive one out of the other. Thoughts are like a chain of processes that seem to fall in place and do not need much forceful intervention and external stimulation of the grey cells.
And just like that, a grave thought arose in my mind!
I remember that I had lost my ‘Dadubhai’ (paternal grandfather) in 2016. I could not be there at the time of his demise. I had wanted to see him at least once before he passed away. I had not written any blog about him, but he was also another person whom I am proud to have had in my life. I had rushed to my native house from Bangalore with the hope of seeing him for one last time, but by the time I had reached home, it was all over – he was cremated and all I saw was his ashes. I had requested every single person in my family that the funeral be postponed to the next day because I wanted to see Dadubhai. My requests all went in vain because it was necessary to cremate him at the earliest.
This time however, I had learnt from my previous experience, and I decided not to rush home from Bangalore. I wouldn’t be able to see Dida’s face for one last time. It would just be a futile thing to do.
However, I just realized that my parents also stay away from me. God forbid, but will it very illogical to think that I might lose my parents just like this without being able to be beside them when they need me the most? Does a job hold so much importance that I should value it over my family? Today I regret for not having listened to Suvro Sir when he told me to start teaching in Durgapur. I might have made a little less money, but then I could have stayed with my parents and could have been beside them for their entire lives. I have myself grown up in Durgapur, and I am no less a human being and no less educated than those people who are staying in the big metropolitan cities.
I recall a poem that I had read about Aurangzeb when I was in school. I remember that when he saw the lifeless body of Shah Jahan after the emperor passed away, Aurangzeb had had a realization that with all the power and money in the world, all that a person gets in the end is a burial; no clothes, no money, absolutely nothing. All that is left is the soul and body!
I also feel the same way now. Who am I working for, and what am I working for? And what great work am I doing that will do any good to this world? Is this the life that I had longed for? I stay far away from my parents, and will not be able to do anything in case an emergency arises. It might be too late before I might see one day that everything that I was working for got lost in an instant. The realization that I might not be able to stay beside my parents who have given their everything to help me be happy gives me a shudder and sends a chill down my spine.
I also wonder what might happen to my parents and my family just in case I am suddenly not there some day. Bangalore is a big city; it is a happening place, and both good and bad things happen to people who are completely unrelated to things. I know quite a few incidents where people have lost their loved ones because someone was present in the wrong place at the wrong time. I do not know how other people have managed to make up for their losses, but my entire family is dependent upon me. That ideally means I need to remain safe, which is again something that I cannot guarantee! Wrong place, wrong time, and anything can happen to me!
I know that my parents had wanted to send me away so that I could lead a good life and grow in life. It was never because they had wanted to live a good life using me as a mere instrument, just like many people’s parents do. They deserve better than what they are getting now!
They truly deserve better!
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