Gratitude

Thank you!

Many of us use these two words very frequently for various reasons, but how many actually mean it when they say it? How many of us actually remember those persons in our lives who had done something that had/has been of immense help to us at least for that moment, or had done something to be thanked again, and again, and again throughout our, or rather their lives, and who actually either got a very formal ‘Thank you’ or ‘Thnks’ for something that they did to impact our lives in a small or a big way?

Can we remember how many times we have thanked our parents, not every time by saying it, but sometimes by expressing happiness, sometimes by letting the whole world know that we indeed have great parents who have taken care of us and have helped us live through odds, and by various other ways that will let them know that we are indeed grateful to them for all that they have done for us? Hardly ever...! It is as if it is our birth right to go on and on demanding from our parents without ever expressing our gratitude towards them. One great man in my life told me that gratitude not expressed is not gratitude at all! It is indeed so true. Have we ever seen the joy in our parents’ eyes when we do something, whatever little it may be, for them? They express their gratitude, and do not take their children for granted for whatever small they get from them. But children, more or less as a rule, as far as I have seen, are ill behaved (in many instances, I have also behaved very badly with my parents, so please do not think that I am writing this post for everyone except myself), care the least for all that their parents have done to protect them throughout their lives from all kinds of disease, bad weather in the streets when they used to return home from primary school, from all kinds of bad people out there in the streets who are always on the prowl to carry away little children and no one would ever come to know of what had become of them and other such bad things. Do we ever think of these things? Maybe not, that is why more or less every child gets a better life than the parents, but not all parents have the fortune to get back from their child(ren) something in the form of a good life, satisfaction, peace and other such beautiful things, and eventually end up in old age homes living forlorn lives in complete isolation, living in places where they are considered to be useless for the rest of the world, just because old age takes its toll on them. It is ironical how those same children, when they become parents, expect their children in turn to take care of them in their old age! Strange, isn’t it? Reminds me of a song called ‘Briddhashrom’ by Nachiketa...

Now let me touch upon something else. Let me get out of family issues and take a look at those people in the society who actually see to it that we live. One may feel that I am speaking of the ‘netas’ and the policy makers or soldiers. No friends, I am speaking of those people who are considered the least human, those people who get up in the morning before the sun gets up from its sleep and go farming with their bullocks, or take their carts to pick up the garbage from our houses to dump them, or take up the brooms in their hands and go around the city sweeping the streets so that when we, the ‘human beings’ of the society, can go around the city for walking and running in the mornings without having to tread on dirt and dust and dry leaves. How many of us have ever cared to take a look at those faces? We walk on the streets the whole day only to make them dirty again, so that they are cleaned the next morning. We are ‘human beings’. If we walk while they clean, they stop so that our walk may go on uninterrupted, but we never consider taking side. We consider ourselves to be ‘well behaved’! And regarding thanking them, forget it. They might be so lucky as not to hear abuse from us for failing to work one fine day just because they might also fall ill. Ironical, is it not, that we consider ourselves to be civilized?

Now let us have a look at what happens in offices between employers and employees. The boss always gets the ‘Thank you’ word from his subordinates, but does he ever care to express his gratitude to his team members? Be late one day for whatever genuine reason it may be, and you will inevitably have to hear something harsh. However, your boss may arrive late and (s)he has always got the right to be busy. I provide this link – please read it. I do not think I need to explain too much about this after what has been said in it. It may be my good luck that at present I am not having to deal with such a boss, but had the bitter experience of actually having to deal with one such fellow in the past.

Thank you is indeed a very valuable word. I have given just 3 examples of where we can say ‘Thank you’ to people - there are numerous more situations where gratitude can win hearts. This word, when properly used, can do wonders. It can build beautiful relationships, can strengthen existing relationships, can motivate people to work more, and can also save you a lot of trouble in times of need. It takes nothing to be grateful. One of my friends told me one day, ‘Swallow your pride. It is not poison – you won’t die!’ Getting rid of ego is one of the most difficult things to do, and again strangely, if you try, it is one of the easiest things to do, so why not get rid of it?

Let us try to make our lives beautiful, let us build beautiful relationships. I believe, out the many ways, this is one to rebuild a beautiful world.

Sir

It has been quite some part of my life that I have associated with a person called Suvro Chatterjee for Durgapur and the rest of the world, Suvro da for people who know him from his 10's or early 20’s, and Suvro Sir, or rather just Sir for me and some other people. When I tell ‘my Sir’ to people whom I know, everybody knows whose name I mean.

Let me start with school. I had seen this person for some days when I was small but until the end of class 5 or the beginning of class 6, I did not know his name. Then one fine day, some idiot told me that this person was a very angry man, and his name was Suvromonium something. From that day, until the end of class 7, I knew that this person was a ‘khadoos South Indian’. I remember having uttered the word ‘sala’ in front of him when I was in class 7, and on seeing him at some distance behind me and coming towards me, I suddenly realized what a big mistake I had done. As it is this person was so dangerous, and if he had heard me saying ‘sala’, he would for sure see to it that I was removed from the school. I had already been caught and warned once, and my parents called by the school authorities for using foul language while I was in class 6. I feared that my days in St. Xavier’s School, Durgapur were nearing their end.

Thankfully, however, nothing happened, and I thanked my stars for it. I was happy that he had not heard what I had said. Then one evening, my parents decided that I would get admitted in his tuitions, and I was taken to his house (I do not remember when, but probably after my class 7 results were out). I was very sure that I would not get an admission, because I was always a very average student, and as far as I had come to hear in the past few days, Sir was the best English teacher in Durgapur and used to teach only the very brilliant and the cream section of students – he never even took notice of people like us and warded average students and their parents alike off from his house. Surprise awaited me at his house - he spoke so nicely. Little Pupu was trying to play hide and seek from behind the curtain with my mother, and he said nothing. I had not expected, but was surprised and relieved when I was finally taken in his class. It may sound strange, but this is a person who told me not to join his class even before classes had started, the primary reason being that he was my class teacher in school. He said that it was totally unnecessary for me to go to his house for classes. I came home and told my parents about this, and I have to thank them that they did not let me do so, otherwise I do not know whether I would have ever known Sir the way I do. I would never have actually dared to speak freely with him, had it not been for his tuitions.

After all that I had heard about him, how would one think different about him? Who would know that this person was so nice and would become a part of my life, a person in front of whom I could pour out all my troubles and he would listen patiently just like my parents listen to me, a person in front of whom I would never feel ashamed to admit any wrong that I did and who would always be ready to tell me ways to get rid of those troubles. He is one person apart from my parents who knows my weaknesses and constantly tells me to focus on them, to get rid of them, and also tells me ways to get rid of them. Apart from my mother (I do not mention my father’s name much because he has never got enough time to focus on me and to interact with me, given the kind of financial troubles that my family has faced), this is the only other person in my life who has taught me to think free but to speak less (something which I have not been able to master – I speak too much!), to take care of myself and do good to myself without harming others (the normal trend is to do your own good at the cost of others’ harm), to read a lot (again something I do not do too much), to take care of my health, to respect people, to be patient, to be polite, to stay away from unwanted ‘human parasites’ by constantly making me aware of what forms ‘human parasites’ can take in this society, and the list can be endless! My Sir has all the qualities and teaches everything about which society tells otherwise, and mind you, by otherwise, I mean the negative.

And yes, about his being negative and having some qualities that everyone may not like, I think everyone has negative qualities – we are only human, and we have to be accepted as we are! A few negatives cannot rule out all the positives in a person.

I want to give just two from the numerous examples from my own life about the kind of person that Sir is:

1. I remember an incident when I had just completed class 10 and went to Sir one evening for getting a speech corrected by him. He was probably not a good mood and shouted at me. I had come back from his doors literally in tears, and had decided not to recognize him ever again in the future. But this is one teacher who just does not teach you to say sorry for something wrong done – he actually does it. He has the courage to do it. I remember, when I was in great mental agony over this whole thing, Sir called me up and spoke with me, told me sorry, and told me to go to his house the next day to see him. He admitted that he had indeed behaved with my very badly, and gave me something that I did not deserve. I question, how many teachers say sorry to their students after they feel that they have wronged to their students?

2. After college was over, I was suffering from jaundice and was in a very bad condition. Sir and boudi came to my house to see me and frequently called me up to inquire about my health. How many teachers nowadays care for their past students like this?

I thank my stars that I was lucky enough to get in touch with this person in my life. The role that this person has played in my life is too big. Impacting the way a person thinks is something that requires something special, and Suvro Sir is indeed a very special person. It is very easy to find an instructor, but very difficult to find a teacher! I have found one, and I consider myself lucky for it.